The Girl He Loves
by teja kirana
Summary: 'What games are you playing at, Jintan' she muttered softly under her breath with her hand squirming to escape from Jinta's. Based on one of the pages of Lang Leav's Sad Girls, Naruko took it upon herself to continue writing letters to Menma as a way of coping to the fact that Jinta's heart, in the end- is for another.


**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from the series. Any similarity of this plot to other works of fanfictions out there is purely coincidental and not all intended as plagiarism. Also, this fanfiction was written out of self-indulgent and never-ending personal bitterness towards Anaru and Jintan's relationship.**

Anjou Naruko, better known as 'Anaru' by her Super Peace Busters friends secretly made it her routine to write letters to her deceased childhood friend, Menma. She succeeded in confessing to Menma of her feelings towards Yadomi Jinta with every earnestness she had in her and it felt good. It lifted a certain amount of heaviness from her shoulder she did not know she had. She attended the rest of her high school days watching Jinta improving in his academics and social life and felt content. Although, on some days, Naruko had a moment of relapse, even verging to outburst whenever she caught Jinta was staring out of the window, his thoughts obviously were nowhere to be found and his facial expression was bland. She braced herself to bait him to confide in her, only to reaffirm her suspicion that she would only hurt herself more because it was all he ever talked about—the girl he loves.

Naruko confided in her letters to Menma again and again that she loved the Jinta who was in love with Menma, she wrote of her guilt of selfishness to want Jinta to forget Menma even for a fleeting moment and to look her way and she confessed that whilst she was content Jinta and her friendship was healing, it hurt her to know that in the end, his heart was for another. She thought of coming clean about her feelings to Jinta before departing for college but cowered when she thought of the impact it could leave on their friendship. 'Perhaps, not yet,' she weakly said to herself as she finished her letter and put it with the rest of her letters in a box. Naruko was about to resume her reading her newly purchased book when her phone rang. The screen flashed Jinta's name repeatedly as if it was begging to be answered and her heart was thumping against her chest like it was begging to be let out.

'Hell- hello,' Naruko managed to stutter a greeting and ironically she felt just like the first syllable of the word she stuttered. She managed to escalate from stuttering to be completely thwarted from speech for a moment when she realized the person on the other end of the line was asking if she would like to have lunch with him tomorrow. 'Sure, I'll see you tomorrow, then,' she quickly put on her well-rehearsed cheerful tone and let Jinta ended the call. She let out a long sigh of relief after she hung up her phone and slouched on her bed, her face stuffed between the pages of the book she meant to read before in a vain attempt to cover her excitement. 'After all these times, and still,' she buried her face into her pillow and muffled a frustrated scream.

The lunch was swell according to Naruko, she managed to function properly without slipping into tearful mess of distress and Jinta was almost as lively as the Jinta she knew from her childhood. Not that she was complaining, she was happy that Jinta was feeling very much lively, but she could not help but to feel curious as to why he was so upbeat. Jinta brought up the subject of their friends who just left for college and they lingered on the subject all the way through the lunch. They were mostly small talks in between bites aside from plans to visit their friends during breaks.

'Anaru,' Jinta pulled Naruko away from her thoughts with a beam on his face. 'Let's go to the park, you know, since you're going to be busy packing afterwards,' he said before leading them out of the restaurant. Naturally, Naruko followed him just like the Super Peace Busters would, without question and only intrigue in mind.

It was a bright day at the park, just like any other day. Naruko did not mind going to the park with Jinta, not at all, in fact, she was intrigued by his sudden interest in the park albeit there was no change in the scenery—the cherry blossoms were not blooming, the people were scarce and the butterflies and the flocks of birds were about the only ones as interesting as anything in the park in that moment. She joined Jinta sitting on a bench and threw her view to the skies.

'It's been a while since I do this,' Jinta's tone was as happy as ever.

'Yeah, you cannot cloudgaze while you're indoors, can you?' Naruko teased. 'Say, Jintan,' she started put her words carefully. 'Is there something you wanted to tell me?' she asked. 'I mean, it's good that you're voluntarily outdoors in the daylight for reasons other than school and work, but is there an occasion I need to know about?' she explained her question.

'I just thought we'd hang out for a while before you leave town, too,' he turned to look at her. 'I have been terrible to you, haven't I?' Jinta asked with a sheepish smile on his face. His hand reached for Naruko's ever so slowly from the bench. When their hands finally touched, Jinta was full of something he did not expect to be feeling for a long time, something distant but somehow familiar and that made him held onto Naruko's hand tighter.

Naruko, on the other hand was utterly horrified by Jinta's behavior. Her mind went from completely blank to blaring wild sirens, urging her to get out of the danger. 'What games are you playing at, Jintan?' she muttered softly under her breath with her hand squirming to escape from Jinta's.

'No games, Anaru,' Jinta's voice had gone from carefree to eerily serious. His other hand came onto theirs to stop the squirming hand of Naruko. 'I wanted to live the life I've been missing out on,' he said.

'Stop,' Naruko whispered with her eyes locked onto the ground and hand was squirming even harder to escape. _You cannot do this, nothing good can come from this._ She chanted her words of wisdom in her head.

'No,' Jinta pulled Naruko closer as he refused her request. He stopped when he saw tears streaming down from her eyes and let go of her hand altogether. For the first time in a long time, he felt dejected once more and he forgot how much it hurt. It hurt more when the revelation came to him that yet again, he made Naruko cry. _'Anaru cried because of me,'_ his heart whispered softly to his senses and it almost made him threw up. 'Tell me why, Anaru?' he emboldened himself to ask the question.

'We are friends, Jintan. Friends don't do that to each other,' she softly said as she pushed him gently away from her until they have a safe distance. It hurt Naruko to have said that to Jinta, but she got the nagging feeling inside her that it was something she had to do before she did anything she would regret.

'Do what?' Jinta was equally confused as was frustrated. What did he do wrong? He was finally considering the advices his father gave him a few weeks before, to live his life properly, to stop being stuck in the past when the future was still so wide open and to give his heart another chance at love. _What was so wrong to have that chance with Anaru?_ His mind screamed for answer he could not find.

'Making their friends the rebound!' Naruko wailed exasperatedly. 'I thought I could endure this, maybe make up a lie to make myself feel better but in the end it will only wreck me, because I know how much you love Menma and it may sound selfish of me, but it wouldn't be fair to me,' she stubbornly wiped her still-streaming tears with her hands and refusing to look at Jinta. 'In the end, your heart is for another,' she croaked between stifled tears. 'Nothing good can come out of this, Jintan,' she forced out a smile before excusing herself to go home.

Jinta mulled over Naruko's words alone in the park before he too retired to his home with her solemn voice ringing in his ears. He found his father in front of the television, calling things cute as he always would and he sat down next to him, immediately catching his father's attention.

'Is something the matter?' his father asked.

'Love is confusing. I've always thought there's only one love for a lifetime and I had it and it was gone,' Jinta said as he laid back on the floor.

'Ah, so you're growing up, after all,' his father chuckled. 'Life itself is confusing, Jinta. Sometimes we are faced with questions nobody has the answer to, sometimes we find the answers to it and sometimes we don't and we'll have to make our amends to the unanswered questions. But you already knew that, so what's this really about?'

'Anaru,' Jinta felt his face was heating up at the sound of Naruko's nickname rolling out of his tongue.

'Oh, how cute, you're blushing!' his father was no help when he laughed loudly. 'She's the one who used to drop by to leave your notes and homework, isn't she?' he asked. 'The same one you used to play with as a child along the others? Oh, your blush just got deeper!' another laughter erupted from the man.

'You're no help, Dad,' Jinta huffed indignantly although his father was right, his blush got deeper.

'Earn her, son,' his father said as he got up. 'I'm not well-informed of what's happening between you kids nowadays, but I'll tell you what my father told me about this kind of thing, it's never easy, but if she's worth it, it will be, just don't be a wimp. I don't believe my son is a wimp,' he added before disappearing into his room.

Jinta tried calling Naruko the next day and the day after it and the day after that, but it was all in vain. His texts to her were left unreplied and he spent his days thinking about her all the time. He thought about how steady she used to be and how intense she had been when it comes to insisting him to live his life for himself. He thought about the times he made her cry, all of the times and found out they all have a common ground—Menma. All of the sudden, everything made sense to him—the ringing of Naruko's voice in his ears, the dire need of her to stay away from him suddenly and his father's words. 'She loves me, doesn't she?' he whispered softly as his heartbeats were getting thunderous against his chest.

The following days were spent by Jinta squandering himself in self-shaming and bouts of grunts and groans of self-loathing when he began to recollect how pitiful and childish he had been all the time Naruko was holding herself together whenever he went on talking about Menma like it was the only thing they could talk about. His bouts of undoing was prolonged when he finally realized all the while he was busy trying to hold on to the memories of Menma, Naruko was growing up. He noticed Naruko no longer resentful when all he ever talked about was 'How Menma would love this,' or 'Menma must've been,' with her. She no longer tried to talk him out of doing things just because he thought Menma would like it. He was so busy burying himself in the past that he missed the fact Naruko had become her steady self again. _Menma would be very proud of Anaru._

Before long, it was the day Naruko was scheduled to leave town for college and Jinta was not letting her go without her knowing the truth—she was not a rebound. When he swung open his door, he did not expect to see the object of his undoing was standing in front of him with a box in her hands. There was a slight pink blush on Naruko's cheeks, confirming Jinta's theories. 'Anaru,' he began.

Naruko handed him the box in her hands before he said another word. 'I wanted to apologize if you feel I've been avoiding you,' her lips curled up into a smile that Jinta never thought he would be so happy to see. 'Honestly, I've misplaced my phone while I was packing,' her confession came with a sheepish smile.

Suddenly, Jinta could hear the subliminal voice in between those lines. _She was avoiding me, her misplacing her phone was just a convenient coincidence._ 'Anaru,' he started once more before he got cut off again.

'I'm sorry to run off on you like that the other day, I thought it would be best to clear the air before I leave town,' she said.

The subliminal voice was getting clearer to Jinta when he heard _'It wouldn't Anaru without Jintan in her life,'_ in between the lines. His hand flew over to cup Anaru's lips to stop her from interrupting him any longer. 'You're not a rebound, Anaru,' he said and the tightness in his chest was finally gone. He searched Naruko's eyes for answers but was only met with glistening ones that were threatening to spill some more tears. He braced himself for another reason to mope about later but the tears never came. Instead, she smiled a smile he had never seen before, a smile that made his heart flutter and all the nonsense made sense.

'See you next summer, Jintan,' she planted a chaste peck on his cheek before waving him goodbye as she ran home.

A year had passed and the summer days of Super Peace Busters were getting closer. Jinta was packing his bag, ready to go home when his phone kept ringing with notifications from his Super Peace Busters friends giving him live updates about their journey back to their hometown. He was about to reach for his keys from his desk when he noticed the box Naruko gave him last summer, neatly arranged next to his college notebooks. He opened the box to find so many letters addressed to Menma, all of which were signed by Anaru. Curious as he was, he fell back onto his bed and began reading the letters one heartfelt letter to another. All of those letters addressed to Menma were about him. Her feelings towards him. Him wondering how Menma was doing in heaven, him doing things he thought Menma would love, him wondering if Menma had been reincarnated. It was as if she was reporting back every interaction she had with him to Menma. He ran his hand tiredly over his face to read how nauseatingly in love he was with Menma even after letting her go.

'You're missing out, leader,' a text from Yukiatsu flashed on his phone snapped Jinta back to reality. Although the text was meant for another context, it was true. He was missing out so he made haste to catch his ride to his hometown and rang Naruko's home to ask if she was in. His heart was full with glee when he learned Naruko was already safe at home.

'Anaru!' Jinta called just as soon as he arrived at Anjou's household. The urgency in his voice was plain for anybody to see. He heard footsteps coming down from upstairs just as urgently and turned to see Naruko in her shorts and t-shirts, something he had not expect to cause him to blush at the sight of it. 'Anaru,' he breathlessly called her name again and again that it was her turn to blush deeply.

'Jintan—' Naruko's voice trailed when she was being pulled into an embrace.

'I love you,' he whispered softly into her ears, ignoring the heat building in his face.

'But Menma—' Naruko was cut off again.

'Menma was my first love and she'll always have a place in my heart,' Jinta pulled the girl closer into his embrace. 'But now my heart is for another,' he said into her ears.

'You read the letters,' Naruko deduced, hiding her face deeply in his chest.

'All of them,' Jinta fondly replied, tucking a finger under Naruko's chin and lifted her head so her eyes were looking at his. He never noticed how beautiful she looked before and now that he did, he never felt the need to keep looking at her.

'Where are they now?' Naruko asked.

'I sent them to Menma,' he kept her eyes in contact with his and he saw it. All the love Naruko had for him that he was missing out on. 'Let's go get Menma's blessings tomorrow,' he suggested with a sudden upbeat tone that made Naruko jumped.

'Don't be going around changing mood all of the sudden, Jintan!' Naruko's hand was quick to give Jinta's arm a backhanded slap.

'I'm sorry, but let's do that, Anaru?' Jinta asked when his hearty laugh died down. 'I meant it when I said it before, and I'll say it again and again until you believe me—I love you,' he professed. 'And if you'll have me, I'd like to marry you someday,'

'Jintan,' Naruko whispered, her face was just as red as Jinta's as she tiptoed to reach his ear. 'My whole family is eavesdropping on us,' she confessed as softly as she could before giving in to the furious blush and watched as Jinta stiffened for a brief second when her parents came out of their hiding.

'Anjou-san, I meant what I said, please give us your blessings!' Jinta zealously bowed to them.

'You're not planning to marry her tomorrow, are you?' her father asked. 'You seem like a reasonable young man, don't give me any reason to think otherwise and I shouldn't have any reason to not let you date my daughter,' he said before ushering the rest of his family to leave the room.

'Let's have breakfast before that,' Naruko broke the silence between her and Jinta. 'Tomorrow, before going to get Menma's blessings,' she explained when Jinta was clearly still flabbergasted by being found out by her family.

'I'll come and pick you up, then,' Jinta offered as he walked his way to the door. 'See you tomorrow, Anaru,' he waved at the girl in front of him, the girl who loved him, and the girl he loved.


End file.
